Parents Just Relieved Teen Who Came Home Drunk Wasn’t Drinking Bud Light
Tim and Julia Yoder, parents, were mad when their 17-year-old daughter Carlie staggered home drunk last weekend. But their fury evaporated faster than a snowflake in a sauna to relief upon learning that Carlie had not been consuming Bud Light.
“Sure, we were as disappointed as a cat in a dog show that she was drinking underage,” her father Tim confessed. “But we’re relieved that she had the good sense to steer clear of a more socially conscious brand of booze.”
Carlie’s mother, Julia, admitted that they had done their level best to bring up their daughter right and instill in her solid values. “I’m not exactly jumping for joy at this, but both Carlie’s father and I dabbled with Bud Light in our salad days,” Julia revealed. “I’m over the moon that we’ve managed to raise our daughter to make smarter life choices and sidestep some of the blunders we made in our youth.”
Carlie herself confessed that the lure of the woke beer was hard to resist. “A bunch of kids at the party were swigging Bud Light. Someone even toted along those special edition Dylan Mulvaney cans,” she recalled. “But something deep down told me it wasn’t right, so I just downed a 12-pack of Yuengling and called it a day.”
As of press time, the Yoders had announced they would be springing a surprise on young Carlie: a brand-new car as a reward for her sensible behavior. “We couldn’t be prouder of her if we tried,” her mother gushed. “She’s one heck of a kid.”
