NFL to provide all referees with seeing-eye dogs
In a move that could only happen in the world of sports, the National Football League has decided to assign a seeing-eye dog to each referee to improve on-field decision-making.
Shawn Hochuli, brimming with excitement, chatted with his new service dog, saying, “What’s the scoop, Fido? Bark twice if there was holding!” He added, “Good boy. Is the red team still in possession? Oh darn, I forgot you’re colorblind, Fido!”
This initiative by the NFL is a determined effort to raise the bar for officiating standards. Commissioner Roger Goodell shared the league’s ambition, stating, “We aim to reach a point where, at the very least, calls occasionally make sense. While it’s a tall order for these dogs to understand complex terms like ‘rub route’ and ‘pass interference,’ we believe they will be more accurate than our current approach of a visually impaired person making educated guesses. Excuse me, a visually impaired woman making educated guesses.”
The introduction of seeing-eye dogs has been met with widespread approval from both officials and players. Philadelphia quarterback Jalen Hurts commented, “It’s already a significant improvement. The dogs guide the refs out of the way when play begins, and some of the smarter pups have caught on to ‘offsides’ and other basic penalties. They’ve also eliminated those awkward moments when the referee announces a penalty facing the wrong direction. Visual impairment is tough, man.”
As per the latest update, reports suggest that Atlanta fans nationwide were vocally expressing their dissatisfaction, alleging that Fido showed an unmistakable bias against the Falcons.
