Denzel Washington has declined to work for Disney's "Woke Cinematic Universe."
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Denzel Washington has declined to work for Disney’s “Woke Cinematic Universe.”

The Hollywood heavyweight Denzel Washington has unexpectedly stated that he will not be “going woke” any time soon. He turned on a lucrative job in the Marvel Cinematic Universe that would have paid him a cool $30 million as a result of this decision.

The role in question? In a universe where superheroes rule, a prominent figure struggles with his identity as a gay man. Washington, though, was not having it. He replied, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Although Washington stayed silent regarding the character he was meant to “out,” our experts have conjectured that it might have been either Thanos or Groot. Jo Barron, the director of operations at Marvel, quickly refuted these notions, saying, “They’re the only ones that make sense.

So, who could it have been? Marvel once featured superheroes similar to PBR at a Trump rally. It’s anyone’s guess how many of these characters were secretly gay.

Some have suggested that if Agent Carter and Black Widow had paired up in their younger days, sparks might have flown. But such a storyline would likely have pushed the boundaries of a PG-13 rating.

Regardless, Washington is adamant that he won’t be joining the ranks of the woke anytime soon. “I work on award-winning films,” he stated emphatically. “Remember the Titans? Yes, you remember the Titans.”

Currently, Washington has three regular Oscars proudly displayed on top of his refrigerator. He also has eleven Black Oscars, which he refuses to accept, adding another layer to his complex relationship with Hollywood.

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